"Finish everyday and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can! Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
This sort of situation has happened to me before. I put students in a position that is vulnerable for them. They are asked to do something academic that they haven't found success in before. Now, really, you need to give the kids credit, they showed up. (To be fair, we're cracking down on attendance for this sort of thing, so they didn't have a lot of choice, but still!) Today, this particular vulnerable task came in the form of reading. So you put them in a vulnerable position, ask them to try as hard as they can for you. But then, if you're me, you get upset when things don't go well. When they have an attitude, or they aren't "trying hard enough." And then I get mad. And then they get mad. And together we are mad. At each other. At the world. At reading. And so we left, feeling defeated. Sure, we had a Snickers bar to numb the pain, but really, it still sucked.
These sorts of situations have happened several times before. And every single time I feel awful. Like, can't decide to throw up or cry kind of awful. (Having the iron stomach that I do, I went for the latter this afternoon.) But then, I come to the same conclusion, and darn it, its a good one to come to. Students need to feel comfortable in order to learn. l'm pretty sure almost every Ed class I ever took told me that. And people talk about it all the time. But sometimes I find that my thoughts get so stuck in my feelings, in my own vulnerability, that I forget about the student's comfort, their vulnerability. And then I feel so bad about it after. I conclude that I am, quite possibly, the least kind person. That I don't care about my students enough. That I have to think before I speak, and feel things later.
But I am human. I make mistakes. I feel before I think. And I speak before I think. I wish I didn't. But then I wouldn't be human. And so instead, you think and process. You decide who and how to apologize. Show your vulnerability. Take off your armour and be human. For tomorrow is a new day, you must not let yesterday's blunders encumber tomorrow's spirit!